Drinking Songs (I Need a Drink of that Glass Half-Full)

AJ called after midnight, distraught. She had stepped off the subway into the dark streets of her neighborhood and was fumbling for something in her purse on the corner by the gas station when her phone fell. Mid-air (he seemed to come from nowhere) a kid swooped by, pushed her in the stomach, snatched the phone and ran. She said he looked about 12 years old. Crying again ("I got mugged!"), AJ regroups a little faster than last time, handles it, calls the police, gets the cell insurance number, takes those two steps back that are always required. Then she stepped forward again.

Earlier in the day she (on her cell), doing her Mark Kozelek shtick: "So what if I was a struggling dancer in NYC who, in order to make money, was performing covers of Mark Kozelek songs performing covers of AC/DC songs ('Sing it AJ,' I said. 'I need a fix.' Bein bad ain't so bad. I've had more pritty wimens than most men haaaave.... 'Yes, AJ. Inspired! Yes!'). I would always go onstage with a cigarette and a glass of vodka ('Genius!') and get drunker and drunker as the night wears on and ('Well, duh!') swear at the audience and walk off. Or whatever. I'll have the stage hand bring out a red clown nose and wearing it, sing an angry version of Bring in the Clowns while staggering around the stage. I'll probably forget to take it off. Get all emotional and nostalgic. Cry! Start writing songs onstage. Wish my movie career had taken off. Get all maudlin about the women I have loved. Wax poetic about Ohio. God, the possibilities are endless. Capitalize on the twins."

AJ yelled at the kid. He ran out of the alley and raced away and she screamed at him. (I was glad for that. "Did anyone see it?" I want the neighborhood, the universe to take care of my kid.) Who knows. The fucking phone was immediately turned off, so what is the point? There have been a rash of iPods stolen in the subways. People are supposed to keep them hidden from view. At least he didn't grab her purse, which (haphazardly I am sure) contained all of her rent money. She was thankful for that. AJ was thankful!

Watch over her, universe. I'm sending that message out to you. Take care of her when I can't. Give me a drink of your glass half-full.