Fast-Approaching Global Devastation and Total Chaos

AJ seems to have had some sort of epiphany resulting from an Arctic Monkeys concert which totally changed her life. The magical night also produced a hangover that took a full two days from which to recuperate. I too need an epiphany, so I bought myself a fifth of Ketel 1 and a six pack of beer. Now I have a headache. It must be the weather, which if you follow the headlines, may be causing fast-approaching global devastation and total chaos.

Lately I tend to blame all the earth's ills on over-population. Sometimes I long for a world less populated. Don't you? We are big animals, like this gorilla, running amok over the earth. And when I see the Expedition Bhutan advertisement on the Discovery Channel, it makes me crazy. "No one has seen this sixteen miles of the river before." Who are they, Christopher-fucking-Columbus? Kiss Bhutan goodbye. Here come the gorillas to stomp your country into empty Western conformity.

Bhutan, to me, always represented the last holdout, the one place that wouldn't compromise itself, that declared the whole country a wildlife refuge, where "...the King said that "Gross National Happiness is more important than Gross National Product."

What are you doing, Bhutan?!

Well, I'm gonna go ride my new mountain bike. "You can't be sad when you're riding a bike," I've heard.