Brave New Worlds

I have acquired a passion for chocolate recently, which seems kinda strange, as I've never been one of those people who craves chocolate. It must have something to do with the drugs ... caffeine, or maybe it's the released endorphins or something. Probably I have brain damage that caused extreme personality changes.

AJ claims I always go toward worst-case scenarios first. For example, on Grammy night when she messaged me that Wyclef looked horrible, I immediately declared that he was likely infected with the AIDS virus. This seemed reasonable to me, but obviously hysterical to AJ. "Hahahahaha! I doubt wyclef has aids mom. Maybe he didn't get a lot of sleep." Since then I have begun receiving text messages along these lines: "I had bags under my eyes when I woke up. I think I might have aids."

I heard a story on the radio, told by a woman whose mother had a stroke which caused her personality to reverse from introverted and conservative to wild and crazy. The daughter was appalled when her mother began a habit of loudly singing in public, which she had never done before, talking to strangers and generally living her life in an entirely new and outrageous, for her, way.

Isn't that interesting? It reminds me of people who go to extremes to experience reality in new ways, like trepanation. It also brings Dolly to mind, who, after recovering from a stroke, refuses to wear a bra. And, with the effects of Alzheimers, has become a totally new person.

We are so sure that things don't change, that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks," but that's just social conditioning. Everything is changing. My personality. Your view of the world. The way we see, our thoughts and how we process them... our ability to hold on to "the way things are."

I'm trying to experience fully the act of "letting go". And if that includes chocolate, so be it. I can handle it.