TOO MUCH MATERIALITY

The woman sitting next to me remembered when her son drove the 125 miles to visit her and she said TOO MUCH MATERIALITY. He said, are you sure you want to get rid of everything, and she said DO IT. So now she is in this wonderful assisted living facility that she loves, the people are friendly, the staff is great and SOMETIMES I COME TO THE DINING ROOM AND GET MY DINNER TO GO IF I FEEL LIKE EATING IN MY ROOM. Mustard sprays on the table, she asks for spumoni and the tour is over.

Blue and I glance at each other when the manager says "I thought I already explained that your mother can have the double room for the price of a single room until the room that she wants becomes available." Later, sitting in the back seat of Dolly's car we talk about the pros and cons of being a flight attendant. On call at an hours notice. Flying away to the beaches of Oahu.

What would you love to do, I ask? Blue says she would like to be a dog groomer. I say I would like to be a hair stylist. Willa says Dolly hasn't been taking her medication regularly. This place will be good for her, says Blue. Nutrition is so important. We all agree that the place is great, like a nice hotel, with bridge games and a theater and trips to the store and concerts and good food and rooms facing a courtyard filled with flowers and birds.

I would like to live there, says Blue. Me too! says Willa.

Dolly is irritated when I tell her she has to eat. I ALREADY ATE. I'M NOT HUNGRY. I see she hasn't taken her morning pills, it is already 5pm and she hasn't gotten dressed today. Dolly told the doctor that Harry Truman is president and she tells me that she didn't go to the doctor. The doctor tells Willa that Dolly can't drive anymore and needs to be in an assisted living facility for her own safety.

When I get up to leave, I search Dolly's face for my mother. Isolated, she recedes into herself. She exists in a place that she can't share with me. I leave a lipstick kiss on her cheek. Maybe later, looking in the mirror, it will lead her back to me.