Calm Submissive Happy

My recent unbalanced state has deluded me into believing that my life could revert to an idealized version of the past. "How did that happen?" I ask Mallory, who quickly searches her appointment book for regular openings. "Sticking a sword in my heart would be preferable to this!" I intone dramatically. I am anxious! Compulsive! Nervous! I jump up on people and run around in circles!

Which reminds me. I am now officially in love with Cesar Millan. After spending the past several nights with The Dog Whisperer (episodes 1-15), I realize that only He understands how to deal with my phobias and nervous behavior. He knows that walking me, disciplining me and giving me affection produce a good result. When I am calm I am happy.

"I need The Dog Whisperer, Valerie." Finally. I found someone who understands me.