Be Here Now

Who was it that fiddled while Rome burned? Nero? (Hell, who needs school when you have Wikipedia?) I am mentioning this because I have lately begun knitting. Or rather taken knitting up again. Long ago, during my "Earth Mother Period" I knit soakers, among other things, so no plastic would touch the skin of my infants (which, obviously, is another story all its own, and another lifetime altogether).

Living alone for nearly a year now, I am surprised at how little I've changed from the "me" of various chronological eras of my life. I like to compartmentalize these different phases, like Picasso's "periods". A version of the "Earth Mother Period" (like Picasso's Blue Period) is what I have reconnected with this summer. Knitting is both frustrating and consoling, just as I remembered. Determined to make "an Irish Hiking Scarf for everyone!" by Christmas, I have actually finished one and begun knitting #2. But it is time consuming, and as usual, I wonder if I am avoiding the truly important stuff. Am I fiddling my life away?

Shouldn't I be in Africa treating AIDS patients? Or adventuring around the world losing fingers to frostbite? Or passionately creating great art, which would be related to Nero's downfall, as he seemed to be more passionate about the arts and chariot racing than governing the Empire (which made him very unpopular with the army and the Senate).

AJ wants a book of my poetry. Bound by me. If that were the work of my life it would be enough. Whatever it is that I do or don't do, is enough. Isn't it? There is no difference between Clyde's life and mine, Huck or Mo or Auggie or Brad Pitt or someone treating AIDS in Africa. Rich man poor man beggar man thief, it really doesn't matter in the end, does it?

The trick is to fully inhabit the moment and not worry about tomorrow. I didn't master that in my "Be Here Now Period". I really haven't changed at all.