Motion

"Get ready for an intense physical, as well as emotional, transformation to take place over the next few weeks. Big changes are afoot."

I'm liking my horoscope today. Not that I'm a true believer, but I think they can be an impetus for self-examination. Right now I'll embrace the promise of transformation.

In case you missed the direction of my last post, the mental line toward fall was crossed a few days ago and the anguish of preparing for procrastinating in preparation for the beginning of school has begun. I have discovered that I can't function in my job unless I am totally unprepared and forced to wing-it, thereby inviting the unexpected and creating spontaneity (and humiliation and chaos, of course). This lack of preparation creates a certain tension leading up to the school year, but I can't seem to approach it any other way.

So I think I'm headed back to NYC in the next few days for one last fling with AJ and Mo before I settle into intense and troubled mental preparation for the school year ahead (re: procrastination). I may drive out if I can't find a last-minute flight that doesn't break the bank. The 12-hour drive sounds inviting, a time to think, and feel totally unleashed from the place on the earth from which I am tethered. In his last post, BR wrote this: "I’m thinking—inexplicably—of Holden Caulfield. His inability to progress. His eerily understandable curse of being tethered to all things static. My unattractive ability to relate." I also can (unattractively) relate, and wonder why I love change but am so unable to set the direction of its' motion.

Which reminds me of another recently quoted horoscope:

"What would you do if you weren't afraid? Ask yourself that question in all kinds of situations, from the mundane to the sublime. You might just start identifying your true desires -- and acting on them."