MERCY!

Still in bed at 9:30 I am reflecting (but not too hard) on the past four days. Monday I was rear-ended while stopped at a stop light and the person who hit me fled the scene. The mechanics say the car frame is bent. Later, Mo was mugged in NYC and her phone was stolen (her face bruised in the process). Grades had to be posted by midnight on Monday (which in itself is enough to cause a mental breakdown) and the past two days and nights have been spent in the Vortex of Hell, once again. Due to the extreme surveillance culture at my job, I won't say the words "tarent peacher monsterences", but you know what they are, and they ain't pretty, people. There are fangs involved, and much crying and gnashing of teeth.

I have felt under attack, and with no one to share each crisis as it arises, I have buffeted myself with guilt and pretty much fallen apart. Maybe that is not so unusual when you are going through a divorce. If I have begun to learn one thing, it's that I certainly am not special. All of the profound feelings that I thought no one else felt are just part of being human. Everybody feels them in similar circumstances. Letting go of being special seems to be a theme in my life during this huge transition. Other large issues? The new shape of family. Finding peace in being alone. The importance of maintaining friendships. Facing fear...

But today I have the day off, and it looks to be about 69 degrees out there in the world. And sunny! I will attempt to enjoy the moment, see what's out there, take a photo or two and post them later. Take it easy. Practice being nice to myself.