Adjustments

"It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere", as Allie, father of my old friend Sunny, used to say. We always found great joy in quoting him with just the right bravado and inflection. And I am getting a cold. Fuck. Laryngitis seems to be the most recent plague at school.

But as if to save the day, one funky and wonderful student came to class yesterday dressed as Jesus, and for once I enjoyed the blatant mixing of church and state. He even looked like he floated down the hallway. A natural. Hell, I felt blessed.

Steven left two weeks ago (physically, I mean). Not the sort of "leaving" that occurred over the past three years, where the person you think you know gradually becomes someone else, but he is gone. So that is that, I guess, and I am adjusting to this house in a different way. Actually, I am trying to make myself feel better by buying things. A duvet cover may do it! Or perhaps a lamp or two? Picture frames to house the likenesses of those I love. Maybe candles in the bathroom, a subtle scent that releases happiness from the subconscious? Little things to bring joy. I search for peace in small things. Pillows. A shell. The color turquoise. Bare feet on a jute rug.

Georgia's daughter gets married today, and I am headed to the wedding later this afternoon with some reluctance, as Theo is staying at Dolly's with Georgia. I would like my sisters to gather around me right now, circle the wagon, spend late nights drinking wine and laughing and swearing our undying devotion. TV sisters. Some ideal version of "sisters" that I have dredged up from the dark recesses of my mind. Fingers tied together with string.