I Ain't Down Yet

Having Veronica back in my life is like having a meddling sister energetically smelling out all the details of my former inadequate existence while bracing to put the future in order. She is a lot like AJ, who is, after all, "a force to be reckoned with". And meddling is exactly what I need right now. After my typical Three-Stooges-esque attempts at a relationship with my own sister, Georgia has predictably disappeared from my life once again, distancing herself with an e-mail. Here is how it went:

Georgia, I'm sorry I wigged out on you. Have I driven you away? I don't want you to feel like you have to make a choice between Theo and me. That's your business.

I freaked out about Dolly when she fell. It is just so weird over there, and I don't know how to deal with it. Our family needs a leader.

I went to Florida for 10 days and stayed with Veronica, and it was great. We took a boat to the Keys and floated in the pool and drank wine and caught up. I was home for a few days (when Dolly fell) and then went to NYC. While I was there I started to get sick and now I have something that is hopefully a virus and will go away soon! I could hardly walk for a while, and forget opening jars! It is like I'm 90 years old. Fuck!

So anyway, I'm sad that we aren't in constant communication, but "it's all good" (that's my new motto). I will take what I can get, cause I love you.
MJ

And here is Georgia's reply.

I love you.  I just retreat into my head a lot.  Also am traveling soon.  Theo and I are going to South Africa Mid August through Sept. 8.  I am glad to go out of the country for a while and interested to see what it is like in that place, post apartheid.
 
I haven't found a counselor yet but have looked.  We will not lose each other.
Georgia

And while I admittedly shed a tear at the emptiness of that last line, I was also bolstered by the knowledge of Veronica, with a seemingly insatiable interest in me as a project. Like a sister should be. An advocate. Biased. Loyal.

Last night it was Veronica who answered her phone with the words, "What did the specialist say?" It was she who offered me questions for the doctor and an invitation to join her at any time of day or night. It was Veronica who is planning our plans for when we are 90 years old and in a rest home raising hell and it is Veronica who is strong and sassy and unafraid. Veronica has guts.

Unlike me. I resemble a quivering mass of insecurity, fear and trepidation. But you know what? I ain't down yet. For this role I will emulate one of my childhood favorites, Debby Reynolds, playing The Unsinkable Molly Brown. Her feistiness always drew me, reminded me of me. I'm not giving up on Georgia and I'm not withdrawing. I'm moving forward and I've got my schemer, Veronica, true blue, to help me. I ain't down yet.