Florida Postcards II

My flight to Ft Myers is late, and after finding my seat at the back of the plane I realize the airlines have adopted a sort of scrappy emergency room ambience. Overly dramatic arguments break out immediately amongst various groups of revolving employees. "Do you really think it's appropriate not to have tissue in the bathroom?!!!!" The meticulously groomed flight attendant with slightly frayed edges pouts at the dark-skinned bathroom crew as they file off the plane. "God! Do they really think it's a good thing to be in a bathroom with no toilet paper?!"

Like a student unsure of the answer I keep my eyes down when suddenly the sound system, reminiscent of a battered drive-thru at a late-night McDonalds, crackles above us. A young stewardess, as the video monitors carrying diagrams of oxygen masks and exit routes blink on and off (does this plane have some electrical issues?), begins to ready us for the flight. A passenger a few rows ahead taps their blank monitor, tries to push some buttons, finally gives up and asks for a pillow. "We don't provide pillows anymore, sir."

"Welcome to Flight 666 to Ft Myers, along with my ex-husband and his new wife Ilsa...The smoking area is out on the wing, and if you can light it going 500 miles per hour, go for it..." I glance up to see if anyone else has noticed the stand-up comedienne stewardess at the microphone. The attendants busy themselves next to me with gossip, cans of soda, napkins and small bottles of liquor. A woman and her daughter exchange quizzical glances a few seats up. "Press the red button for the reading light but don't press the orange button unless necessary because it will eject your seat..."

The seemingly ancient Italian woman behind me doesn't like her seat and I hear her tell the steward she will "call the company". A few passengers make eye contact with each other as they hear the steward ask a passenger, "You put your wife in the trunk on the way to Florida?" I hear a little girl say, "We have a video of my sister falling in the tub doing a cartwheel."

Clouds cast shadows on the water as I try to size up the crew and passengers on this flight. How would we each behave in an emergency situation? Who would fall apart? Who would rise up and be a leader? Who would be first? Who would be last? I feel, if only with that thought, I have prepared some semblance of an emergency plan. I close my eyes and enjoy the bumpy ascent through rolling clouds that takes me far above the midwest landscape.