More about Fucking!

Not that I ever even think about the subject, but an astute comment (the only sort I receive) on my post It's All about Fucking made me realize there is LOTS MORE pertaining to the topic of fucking that deserves intelligent exploration.

Melina said: I really liked this post, it's so true. We can think that we're above the idea our whole lives just being about fucking but it's not...every single thing we base our life around is getting it one way or another. Except those seeking world peace, but wouldn't they get laid just for the sheer fact they accomplished that?!?

Good question Melina!

Well, would those seeking world peace get laid after they had accomplished that? Probably not.

I mean, peace just isn't sexy anymore. In the 60's peace had some edge to it, some rebellious free-love anti-establishment chic that drew babes like flies. Peace activists just aren't tempting death anymore. Daring environmentalists on the other hand, those burning down suburbia or loosing all the rhesus monkeys from labs have a James Bond-ish quality that works. They would certainly get the award for "Most Desirable Fuck" in the Environment/Peace category.

We all know that in the music category, rock is synonymous with fucking because remarkably, the guitar player's penis is equal to the size of his guitar. This also works in other categories. The Monster Truck category has the monster penis. Nascar has a little fast penis, hence all the crashing and fire to make up for it. Actor's penises don't matter because they are royalty and they have lots of money, which trumps the size of the penis in attracting the "most desirable" fuck.

What about your run-of-the-mill boring doctor or lawyer type? Emergency room doctors definitely win, hands down, for their in-the-field-thinking-on-their-feet-inability-to-hold-down-a-relationship appeal. The raggedy getting-their-hands-dirty rich are more attractive than the Lexus-driving conservative professional. God! Must their women constantly be going under the knife to attract a more exciting penis? How tedious.

OK. My profession. What has the lowly teacher got? A pencil? There used to be the teacher pointer, but technology has driven that out of the classroom. No wonder there are so many teacher/student trysts. Teachers are at the absolute bottom of the fucking pecking order. They are simply used for experience by cheerleaders on their way to hooking a Lexus-driving conservative professional. There is a reason Sting didn't stay in the classroom.

Let's shatter some myths while we're at it: Are the French better lovers? Is sex better if you love the person? Can those who are married "keep sex alive"? Geese mate for life. Shouldn't we?

No.

And finally, some titles for future posts (something to look forward to, like fucking!):

Movies are All about Fucking
Card Games? A Ruse for Fucking
Exercise is Definitely for Fucking
The Poetry of Fucking
Does Breathing Remind You of Fucking?
Greeting Cards and Fucking
Crazy Down-Home Fucking

Thank you Melina, for providing me with a quality topic for my TEN DAYS OFF. At the moment being a teacher isn't so bad after all.