WWJD, Oppressor Motherfuckers?

I heard recently that the majority of divorces in older couples are carried out by women. That statistic cheered me somehow. Maybe marriage, which seems often to me like the biggest blind spot when it comes to the oppression of women, is finally dying at the hands of the oppressed. It would seem that way, with all the panicking of the Christian Right spoken through President Bush.

What is the big deal about homosexuals marrying? White hererosexuals have run competitively toward marriage as another possession, one that will surely bring happiness and security. They have the big build-up, with showers, bachelor parties, shopping binges, and they spend an average of $25,000 on a ceremony. This performance falls flat when 70% of them are divorced within 10 years. Why are homosexuals fighting for that? Why is the fantasy of "one relationship for life" so attractive to people? I believe it is fear, brought about in wide measure by American civil religion, that convention that has taken the place of real Christianity.

Christianity has been so twisted by our culture that to be a good Christian at the moment, you must blindly follow President Bush as he slaughters thousands of Iraqi citizens and forces indifferent and individualistic capitalism onto the world. And Christians believe God speaks to Bush and tells him to go to war. It is easier to submit to Bush's authority than go against the popular belief system and receive disapproval, just like in traditional marriage. Christian churches teach couples that the man is the stronger vessel and the woman is weaker, that the woman needs to submit to the husband's decisions that he receives from God (him)self or his (male) pastor in order to receive her husband's protection against forces of evil in the world.

Not to mention skin color. God is still white, as far as I can tell from mainstream culture, as are most people with power in our country, from the president down. What a wonderful snippet from the documentary "Supersize Me", when a kindergartner is shown photographs of well-known people to see if he will recognize them. Of course the kid recognizes Ronald McDonald, but when he identifies one photograph as "W Bush", the adult says "you are close". The photograph is turned toward the camera, revealing a painting of Jesus (one of those popular kitch prints, with (white) Jesus looking straight at you with long brown hair and a benevolent expression).

It is so difficult to move against the tide of acceptable behavior. After all, we are Puritans. We have the work ethic down. We have jobs that are unbelievably stressful or boring and give ourselves no time for rest, happily making "The (white) Man" rich. (Another rich scene from a movie: Factory workers cheer as the last car comes off the assembly line in Flint, Michigan in Michael Moore's "Roger and Me". One worker turns to the camera and asks, "Why are they cheering? They just lost their jobs.") We kill ourselves for a capitalist economy that makes the upper 2% if the population rich and we kill our sons and daughters in Iraq for the same reason. Our loyalies are fucked up.

We participate in our own oppression because there is some "daddy" out there looking out for our best interests (God, Bush, our husband, the police). We take some comfort in not living under their constant disapproval. After all, what if they were right? What if we did go to hell if we divorced our husbands? What if we all were destroyed by nuclear war? What if we were lonely and broke and ostracized (and ugly and fat and hysterical and blonde and stupid)?

The Bible warns, "Your greatest fear will come upon you." But I won't be motivated by fear. I believe, in this country (and soon to be world) of forced sameness, in this sea of mediocrity and convention, that there will appear outposts of people living new and creative lifestyles, deciding new priorities, who are birthing in a new era that is more loving, tolerant, compassionate. I am a pilgrim this morning, out walking toward that thought.