"In Heaven I Thought I Would Have to Play Badminton with George Washington Forever"

Once, when AJ was very young, she questioned me about heaven. "What does it look like, mom? Who is there? Is it fun?" Transforming myself into a tender mother I once saw in a movie, I said softly, "Think of the place you love the most and all the people who are dear to you. Think of all your favorite things. That's what heaven will be like." AJ looked at me with a mixture of relief and disbelief. "In heaven I thought I would have to play badmitten with George Washington forever!"

AJ was a smart girl. She knew that you can't be happy unless you are pleasing grown-ups at home and at school, and some of the home part had become vicious. During our almost daily backyard badminton competitions it was not uncommon for AJ's brothers, Huck and Auggie, who were offensive linemen on the high school football team, to break rackets in mid-air while returning a birdie at lightening speed. We were always on the lookout for stronger, better-built rackets. AJ was lost in the high speed confusion and would stand covering her head as the birdies blasted toward her. The boys, grass-stained from diving for birdies in the heat of the game, would encourage her, in their way. "Come on, AJ. Hit the ball. It's not going to hurt you!" When it came time for AJ to serve, the game usually fell apart, with the boys slipping off to the house as AJ tossed the birdie up again and again, madly swinging her racket, whiffing all over the place with me on the other side encouraging, "It's OK, AJ. Watch the birdie. You can do it. Take your time." Sometimes I would even sit down for this part.

I imagine it was in the heat of one of those competitive summers that AJ revealed her apprehension about heaven. Probably her memory of the school year still stung, with visions of unbearable multiplication and division problems, writing exercises that never were good enough, Nazi art teachers, cruel classmates and history assignments featuring austere-looking white men in powdered wigs. And I was just a parent, like all parents, bumbling through life while pretending to know what I was doing.

AJ doesn't ask me those big questions anymore. She has learned what all children eventually realize about their parents.

Heaven is a beautiful place, AJ. Obey your parents. Believe your teachers. Love your enemies. Stay safe.